The Story About My Eyes, My LASIK Experience


As many of you probably know, I had laser eye surgery over the weekend.  A ton of you have been asking how it went, so I figure I’d write about it on my blog.  I also figured that I would give you a look my process because, truth be told, there are not too many great online resources that give you the brass tax.  When I was looking for information about Lasik, all I found was  a bunch of propaganda from the laser eye companies. So, without further ado, here we go.


I was originally put on the idea of Lask because I saw a Groupon deal to get my eyes done for less than $1500 bucks!  Too good to be true right? Well, it is. As it turns out, that deal is only for individuals that need minimal vision correction.  For example, if your a – 1.00 then you fall into that category.  I should also add, this is for the older PRK procedure.

My ass is blind.  Yup, legally blind. Last I checked with my optometrist, DJ Coolwhip, i was clocked in at a -7.00 with an even shittier astigmatism.  I went in to the Laser Eye Center a few weeks ago (yes, the place you hear about in all those commercials) because they give a free consultation.  That was my opportunity to get the facts straight.

They gave me the rundown.  Since I was as blind as a drunk in a room full of fat chicks, they said that I would need to go with the more “technologically advanced” procedure.  It’s called the Wave Light and Intralase procedure.  Their description of the process was pretty cool.  The machine follows the movement of the eye while correcting your cornea so there is less of a deviation for error.  It’s a far superior option to the RPK procedure where the doctor slices your eye manually.  The procedure is $5,940 with a $1,000 discount per eye.  Total came to $3,940.

After going home and doing more research, the average cost of my procedure would be around $4K so it was reasonably priced. At the end of the day, I decided to go with Laser Eye Center because they have the a ton of experience and a very minimal percentage of fuck ups.  Eyes are a serious investment and it would be stupid to go for the cheapest deal in town.

The Procedure

The surgery itself took less than 10 minutes.  It was relatively painless but it does psyche you out.  Opt in for the drugs before the surgery.  I don’t care how much of a tough guy you claim to be, when you see a blade going to your eye, you’ll turn into a pussy.

The procedure was broken down into two parts.  The first part was where they pried open my eyelids, then put, what looks to be, a bottle cap around my eyes.  They then told me to stare in between these 2 circles of white light.  This is the part where I freaked out because as the machine started to work, the light started to get darker and darker until I realized my eye was open and it was pitch black.  The second part entailed me staring into a green light while the doctor was rubbing my eye with what looked to be a blade.  He was also wiping the blood out of my eyes with a gauze.  Total psyche out! After it was all said and done, I could totally see!


They say you’re not allowed to sleep for 5 hours after the surgery but the mixture of Zanax and Tylonol with Codine knocked me out.  I spent the rest of the day sound asleep.  The recovery process essentially involves a bunch of eye drops and  your eyes looking like a zombie for a week.  See for yourself below, “Zommmbiiieeeeee!”


Sidenote, gee I have  big pores…

The only noticeable side effect I’ve experienced is really dry eyes.  The best way I can describe it is like sleeping with your contacts on (for those of you that have contacts). It really makes things blurry. I haven’t really experienced any sensitivity to light but we’ll see how that goes at my next gig.

The Wrap Up

Everyone that I’ve talked to that has had this done say that its a game changer and it’s totally worth it.  The experience of waking up the next morning and realizing you can see without any glasses or contacts is totally amazing. They say it takes about 2 weeks before everything heals and I should be able to have perfect vision.  We’ll see how that goes.  Reach out to me if you have any questions, recommendations or an update!  Lasik = A Great Investment.